All the World's A Stage,

And all the men and women merely players;
-Shakespeare-

Each of us is an actor in his/her own little play, showing the audience (including ourselves) our best sides, making the appropriate dramatic motions, and making ourselves into the protagonist we wish to be known as. We do this although the costume doesn't quite fit right, our legs are getting tired, and the spotlight often shows us the things we don't like to see in ourselves.

In our struggles to live the Christian ideal, it is habitual for us to "change the script", directing the 'character' in a more appropriate moral direction. But the actor is left unchanged and, in a sense, unsaved from the wounds he is hiding under his dress and make up.

Inspired by a recent blog post by Archpriest Stephen Freeman, here, I am reminded of this in my endeavor to conform myself to Christ. Christianity is an internal struggle. One which I have not mastered to the point of being authoritative to any degree enough to make blog posts. I am also reminded of how easy it is to make an analogy of the internal life, but a whole different thing to actually examine it. Such is the power of inspiring words. It often seems that they reveal things about that mysterious subject, people, but the spotlight rarely falls on us. Our 'characters' are not nearly as crude as real human beings. In a video interview between Richard Dawkins and paleontologist Richard Leakey, on the documentary, The Fifth Ape, Leakey pointed out that people who have trouble with the idea that they biologically descended from apes, have far less trouble with the idea that other zoo goers descended from them. I think Leakey stumbled upon a fundamental human truth. In my own language, even within this very blog post, I will attribute human qualities and shortcomings to that still mysterious subject, people, and still more mysterious subject, we. In this regard, my focus ought to be the only creature that I have any faculties over, me, even if it is itself nearly as mysterious. To complicate matters, I should not even focus on me, but rather on the one doing the focusing. I cannot afford to make the mistake of revising my 'character', when the 'actor' is the one who needs the Salvation. My first target, if my lifetime confession shows anything, should be the 'angry man'. This is a part of me that I have most effectively focused into my characters righteous indignation. It is my main source pain.

In light of these thoughts, and advice from my spiritual father, my blog posts are going to be internalized. I stated recently that I have grown tired of polemics. It has dominated most of my writing. Henceforth, my writing will take on the appearance of a diary, instead. I still find it helpful to write my thoughts, as it helps me to organize them.